Commitment
5/28/2025
Well. That got away from me.
It's been just shy of two years since I last truly worked on this site, something I could very easily blame on things in my personal life—something I would not think to be wholly inappropriate, as I was in my senior year of university, all the good that it did me—and one thing has become exceptionally clear to me:
I am fucking horrible at committing to things.
Well, 'committing' and 'commitment' have very specific connotations. I have a sneaking suspicion that there is something greater at play here; that being a fear of completion.
Anyone who's ever tried their hand at art—hell, any sort of creative or constructive endeavour—can tell you that the number one enemy of completion is perfection... because there is no such thing as perfect. You can chase it for as long as you damn well please, but you will never cross that asymptote for as long as you draw breath.
The fear that what you do won't be good enough is further compounded by what might be the worst case of scope creep ever. Right when I'm about to complete something, I get another idea to add to the pile of unfinished ideas. That back-and-forth goes on forever, and then you die.
So, when I saw the Website Update Wednesday thread on agora, I realized it was the kick in the pants I needed to get this site up. Unfortunately, that's when the scope creep came back. I began by saying that I'd just start and finish the Sakuya Shrine, and then I'd be done. But that's when I became irrevocably gripped by the idea of having a wiki dedicated to fictional clocks in the vein of the Anime Bath Scene Wiki with a dash of HORG-style taxonomy, just for fun.
I spent two weeks on the classification system alone, then the past week designing the wiki page template.
And there's nothing wrong with that! Not by itself, anyway. The problem is that I'll spend all that time and work just to not show it to anybody. And you could argue that there is some personal satisfaction to creating art just for oneself, but therein lies the rub: I want to show this to people! That's why it's so frustratingly paradoxical to me.
So I've made a decision: no matter the state this site is in, come Wednesday May 28th, this site should be up, barring any potential technical issues with uploading the site to neocities.
So, if you're reading this, that means I did it.